实话实说 股票版

实话实说
小 崔：大叔大妈，好久不见，股票炒得挺好吧？
宋丹丹：好啊，那是相当得好！
小 崔：买的都是啥股票？
赵本山：都是中石油嘛。
宋丹丹：不说话还能把你憋死？
赵本山：我看中石油得先把你憋死！
小 崔：大妈，我听说中石油最近跌得很厉害啊？
宋丹丹：假象，绝对的假象！不会下蹲的股票是跳不高的。股评家说了，买了中石化，生活不用怕；买了中石油，生活不用愁。
赵本山：是啊，那中石油是干蹲不起，啥时候跌停板了也就到底了。
小 崔：大叔，你买的是什么股票？
宋丹丹：那他能好意思说吗？中国平安！
小 崔：大叔，您当时咋想的？
赵本山：我寻思中国平安从149元跌到100元就是地板价了，没想到地板下面还有地窖，地窖下面还有地狱，更没想到的是地狱还有十八层！
小 崔：看来炒股赚钱还真挺难的。 大叔大妈,现在有啥打算？
宋丹丹：还打算啥呀？搁家解套呗！石油套----钢钢的----老他妈难解了！问君能有几多愁，恰似满仓中石油。
赵本山：我整个锣，没事出去敲一敲：平安无事了！
小 崔：大叔大妈，每人一句话,总结感言.
宋丹丹：我十分想抛中石油.
赵本山：说那玩儿干啥?我整点有用的说.印花税啥时候降下来呀?

直接在Youtube网站看到MTV的歌词

If you want to see a music video, there's a good chance you'll find it
on YouTube. The downside is that YouTube doesn't offer any
music-related feature, so you can't find information about the artists,
lyrics or concert dates.

A simple Greasemonkey script
adds one of these missing feature: lyrics. The script creates a
container titled "Lyrics" below the video's description and shows the
lyrics when you expand the container. Obviously, the video must contain
the artist's name and the song's title. If the script doesn't find the
lyrics of a song, change the site that provides lyrics
(lyrics.astraweb.com seems to be the best) or choose from one the
alternative songs.

As usually, to install this script you need Firefox and the Greasemonkey extension.
Lyrics for YouTube's Music Videos